About Café Carbon

Café Carbon is a musical performance written by The Gluts (Gina Birch, Kaffe Matthews and Hayley Newman) it was originally performed on the streets of Copenhagen during the Climate Conference in December 2009. Since then we have performed Café Carbon at Modern Art Oxford, Whitechapel Art Gallery, Cafe Oto and Camden Arts Centre.

“Bonjour and welcome to Café Carbon, please take a seat and make yourself comfortable.

May I offer you an aperitif while you digest our menu of songs?

Today’s selection has been lovingly prepared by The Gluts – Gina Birch, Kaffe Matthews and Hayley Newman. Please feel free to gorge your eyes on our soufflé of sautéed tunes and whipped lyrics laid out on a bed of performance. As your waitress, I’d like to guide you through your selection of starters, main courses and desserts while Café Carbon regurgitates stories about food consumption from pre-historic times, through the industrial revolution to the present day. Dipped globalised food production, roasted carbon trading, seared hunting and gathering, tossed gluttony and squeezed famine are all on the menu tonight.

Something to drink? Tap water? Yes, an excellent and popular choice and très potable! A starter? I can recommend them all. Our Stone Cold Soup is really good and the Chefs Spaghetti Carbonara is as light as air. For the main courses we have been foraging, hunting, gathering and scavenging food to present you with a lavish Grand Buffet of excess. I’d also like to bring our signature dish to your attention; OilY has been specially flown around the world three times for your predilection. I presume you would also like dessert? I am afraid the Tiramisu and Crème Caramel are off the menu today, the only choices left are Sanity or Madness.

Voila, and bon appetite, I hope you enjoy your meal. Please tell your friends about us and come back soon!”


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